Musnad Ahmad 175:26

Ya'qub ibn Ibrahim narrated to us, Ibn Akhi al-Zuhri Muhammad ibn 'Abdullah narrated to us, from his paternal uncle Muhammad ibn Muslim al-Zuhri, who said: 'Abd al-Rahman ibn 'Abdullah ibn Ka'b ibn Malik informed me that 'Abdullah ibn Ka'b ibn Malik—who was the guide for Ka'b from among his sons when he became blind—said: I heard Ka'b ibn Malik narrating his story when he stayed behind from the Messenger of Allah (ﷺ) in the Battle of Tabuk. Ka'b ibn Malik said: I never stayed behind from the Messenger of Allah (ﷺ) in any battle he fought, except in the Battle of Tabuk, other than that I had stayed behind in the Battle of Badr, and he did not reproach anyone who stayed behind from it. The Messenger of Allah (ﷺ) had only gone out intending the caravan of Quraysh, until Allah brought them and their enemy together without an appointment. I witnessed the night of al-'Aqabah with the Messenger of Allah (ﷺ) when we pledged to Islam, and I would not love that I had the witnessing of Badr instead of it, even though Badr is more mentioned among the people and more famous. My story when I stayed behind from the Messenger of Allah (ﷺ) in the Battle of Tabuk was that I had never been stronger nor wealthier than I was when I stayed behind from him in that battle. By Allah, I had never gathered two mounts before it until I gathered them in that battle. The Messenger of Allah (ﷺ) rarely intended a battle he was to fight without hinting at another, until that battle came, and the Messenger of Allah (ﷺ) fought it in intense heat, faced a long journey and a desert, and faced a numerous enemy. So he made his affair clear to the Muslims so that they could prepare the preparation for their enemy, and he informed them of his destination which he intended. The Muslims with the Messenger of Allah (ﷺ) were many, and no record could contain them—meaning the register. Ka'b said: A man would think that if he wanted to be absent, it would be hidden from him as long as no revelation from Allah was sent down regarding it. The Messenger of Allah (ﷺ) fought that battle when the fruits and the shade were pleasant, and I was inclined toward them. The Messenger of Allah (ﷺ) and the believers with him prepared for it, and I began to go out to prepare with him, then I would return without having accomplished anything. I would say to myself: "I am capable of that if I want." It continued like that, delaying me until the people were ready, and the Messenger of Allah (ﷺ) set out in the morning, and the Muslims with him, and I had not accomplished anything of my preparation. I said: "I will prepare after a day or two, then I will catch up with them." I went out in the morning after they had departed to prepare, but I returned without having accomplished anything of my preparation. Then I went out in the morning and returned without having accomplished anything. That continued to delay me until they hastened and the battle was far ahead. I intended to set out and catch up with them, and I wish I had done so, but it was not decreed for me. I began, when I went out among the people after the departure of the Messenger of Allah (ﷺ), to walk among them, and it saddened me that I saw no one except a man suspected of hypocrisy or a man whom Allah had excused. The Messenger of Allah (ﷺ) did not mention me until he reached Tabuk. He said while he was sitting among the people in Tabuk: "What has Ka'b ibn Malik done?" A man from Banu Salama said: "O Messenger of Allah, his two cloaks and looking at his sides have detained him." Mu'adh ibn Jabal said to him: "You have said a bad thing. By Allah, O Messenger of Allah, we know nothing of him but good." The Messenger of Allah (ﷺ) remained silent. Ka'b ibn Malik said: When it reached me that the Messenger of Allah (ﷺ) had turned back from Tabuk, my grief came upon me. I began to contemplate lying and saying: "With what shall I escape his anger tomorrow?" I sought help for that from every person of opinion among my family. When it was said that the Messenger of Allah (ﷺ) had arrived, the falsehood departed from me, and I knew that I would never be saved from it by anything. So I resolved to tell him the truth. The Messenger of Allah (ﷺ) arrived in the morning, and he used to, when he returned from a journey, begin with the mosque, pray two rak'ahs in it, then sit for the people. When he did that, those who had stayed behind came to him, and they began to offer excuses to him and swear to him. They were over eighty men. The Messenger of Allah (ﷺ) accepted their outward appearance, asked forgiveness for them, and entrusted their inner secrets to Allah, the Blessed and Exalted. Until I came, and when I greeted him, he smiled the smile of one who is angry, then he said to me: "Come." I came walking until I sat before him. He said to me: "What kept you behind? Were you not prepared?" I said: "O Messenger of Allah, if I had sat before someone else from the people of the world, I would have seen that I could escape his anger with an excuse. I have been given eloquence. But, by Allah, I have known that if I tell you a lie today with which you would be pleased with me, Allah, the Exalted, would soon make you angry with me. And if I tell you the truth today, you will find fault with me in it, but I hope for the coolness of my eyes—forgiveness from Allah, the Blessed and Exalted. By Allah, I had no excuse. By Allah, I was never more free nor wealthier than I was when I stayed behind from you." The Messenger of Allah (ﷺ) said: "As for this one, he has spoken the truth. So stand up until Allah, the Exalted, decides regarding you." I stood up, and men from Banu Salama hurried and followed me. They said to me: "By Allah, we did not know you had committed a sin before this. You have failed not to have excused yourself to the Messenger of Allah (ﷺ) as those who stayed behind excused themselves. The forgiveness of the Messenger of Allah (ﷺ) for you would have been sufficient for your sin." He said: By Allah, they continued to blame me until I wanted to return and belie myself. Then I said to them: "Has anyone met this with me?" They said: "Yes, two men have met it with you, who said what you said, and it was said to them like what was said to you." I said to them: "Who are they?" They said: "Murara ibn al-Rabi' al-'Amiri and Hilal ibn Umayya al-Waqifi." He said: They mentioned to me two righteous men who had witnessed Badr, in whom I had an example. So I went on when they mentioned them to me. The Messenger of Allah (ﷺ) forbade the Muslims from speaking to us, we three, from among those who stayed behind from him. So the people avoided us, and they changed toward us until the earth seemed strange to me, for it was not the earth I knew. We remained like that for fifty nights. As for my two companions, they humbled themselves and sat in their houses weeping. As for me, I was the youngest and strongest of the people, so I would attend prayer with the Muslims, walk in the markets, and no one would speak to me. I would come to the Messenger of Allah (ﷺ) while he was in his sitting place after the prayer, and I would greet him, and I would say to myself: "Did he move his lips to return the greeting or not?" Then I would pray near him and steal glances at him. When I was attentive to my prayer, he would look at me, and when I turned toward him, he would turn away. When that long period of the Muslims' shunning me had passed, I walked until I climbed the wall of Abu Qatada, who was my cousin and the most beloved of people to me. I greeted him, and by Allah, he did not return the greeting to me. I said to him: "O Abu Qatada, I adjure you by Allah, do you know that I love Allah and His Messenger?" He remained silent. I returned and adjured him, and he remained silent. I returned and adjured him, and he said: "Allah and His Messenger know best." My eyes overflowed with tears, and I turned away until I climbed the wall. While I was walking in the market of Medina, a Nabati from the Nabataeans of the people of al-Sham, who had come with food to sell in Medina, was saying: "Who will direct me to Ka'b ibn Malik?" The people began to point to me for him, until he came and handed me a letter from the King of Ghassan. I was a scribe, and it said: "To proceed: It has reached us that your companion has shunned you, and Allah has not made you in a place of humiliation nor loss. So join us, and we will console you." I said when I read it: "This is also from the trial." I headed with it to the oven and burned it in it. When forty nights of the fifty had passed, the messenger of the Messenger of Allah (ﷺ) came to me and said: "The Messenger of Allah (ﷺ) commands you to separate from your wife." I said: "Shall I divorce her, or what shall I do?" He said: "No, but separate from her and do not approach her." He sent the same to my two companions. I said to my wife: "Join your family and stay with them until Allah decides in this matter." The wife of Hilal ibn Umayya came to the Messenger of Allah (ﷺ) and said to him: "O Messenger of Allah, Hilal is an old man who is lost, he has no servant. Do you dislike that I serve him?" He said: "No, but do not let him approach you." She said: "By Allah, he has no movement toward anything. By Allah, he has not ceased weeping since your affair happened until this day of his." Some of my family said to me: "If you had asked the Messenger of Allah (ﷺ) regarding your wife, for he has permitted the wife of Hilal ibn Umayya to serve him." I said: "By Allah, I will not ask the Messenger of Allah (ﷺ) regarding her, and I do not know what the Messenger of Allah (ﷺ) would say if I asked him, and I am a young man." We remained after that for ten nights, completing fifty nights since we were forbidden from speaking. Then I prayed the dawn prayer on the morning of the fiftieth night on the roof of one of our houses. While I was sitting in the state that Allah, the Blessed and Exalted, mentioned of us—my soul had become constricted for me, and the earth had become constricted for me despite its vastness—I heard a crier on Mount Sal' saying at the top of his voice: "O Ka'b ibn Malik, rejoice!" I fell down prostrating, and I knew that relief had come. The Messenger of Allah (ﷺ) had announced the repentance of Allah, the Blessed and Exalted, to us when he prayed the dawn prayer. People went to give us the good news, and they went to my two companions to give them the good news. A man spurred a horse toward me, and a runner from Aslam ran and climbed the mountain, and the voice was faster than the horse. When the one whose voice I heard came to me to give me the good news, I took off my two garments and clothed him with them for his good news. By Allah, I owned nothing else that day. I borrowed two garments and wore them, and I set out heading toward the Messenger of Allah (ﷺ). People were meeting me in groups, congratulating me on the repentance, saying: "May the repentance of Allah upon you be pleasant to you," until I entered the mosque. The Messenger of Allah (ﷺ) was sitting in the mosque with people around him. Talha ibn 'Ubaydullah stood up and hurried toward me until he shook my hand and congratulated me. By Allah, no man from the Muhajirun stood up for me except him. Ka'b would not forget that for Talha. Ka'b said: When I greeted the Messenger of Allah (ﷺ), he said, while his face was shining with joy: "Rejoice at the best day that has passed over you since your mother gave birth to you." I said: "Is it from you, O Messenger of Allah, or from Allah?" He said: "No, rather it is from Allah." The Messenger of Allah (ﷺ), when he was happy, his face would brighten as if it were a piece of the moon, and that would be known from him. When I sat before him, I said: "O Messenger of Allah, it is part of my repentance that I strip myself of my wealth as charity to Allah, the Exalted, and to His Messenger." The Messenger of Allah (ﷺ) said: "Keep some of your wealth, for it is better for you." I said: "Then I will keep my share that is in Khaybar." I said: "O Messenger of Allah, Allah, the Exalted, has saved me only by truthfulness, and it is part of my repentance that I will not speak anything but the truth as long as I remain." By Allah, I do not know anyone among the Muslims whom Allah has tested with truthfulness in speech since I mentioned that to the Messenger of Allah (ﷺ) better than He has tested me, the Blessed and Exalted. By Allah, I have not intended a lie since I said that to the Messenger of Allah (ﷺ) until this day of mine, and I hope that He will preserve me in what remains. Allah, the Blessed and Exalted, sent down: "Allah has forgiven the Prophet, the Muhajirun, and the Ansar who followed him in the hour of difficulty after the hearts of a party of them had almost swerved, then He forgave them. Indeed, He is to them Kind and Merciful. And [He also forgave] the three who were left behind until when the earth became constricted for them despite its vastness, and their souls became constricted for them, and they realized that there is no refuge from Allah except to Him. Then He turned to them so they could repent. Indeed, Allah is the Accepting of Repentance, the Merciful. O you who have believed, fear Allah and be with the truthful." [al-Tawbah: 117-119] Ka'b said: By Allah, Allah, the Blessed and Exalted, has never bestowed a blessing upon me after He guided me, greater in my soul than my truthfulness to the Messenger of Allah (ﷺ) that day, that I did not lie to him and perish as those who lied to him perished when they lied to him. For Allah, the Blessed and Exalted, said to those who lied to him when they lied to him the worst thing that can be said to anyone. Allah, the Exalted, said: "They will swear by Allah to you when you return to them so that you might leave them alone. So leave them alone. Indeed, they are filth, and their refuge is Hell, a recompense for what they were earning. They swear to you so that you might be pleased with them. But if you should be pleased with them, indeed Allah is not pleased with the defiantly disobedient people." [al-Tawbah: 95-96] He said: We, the three, were left behind from the affair of those whom the Messenger of Allah (ﷺ) accepted when they swore, so he accepted their pledge and asked forgiveness for them. The Messenger of Allah (ﷺ) postponed our affair until Allah, the Exalted, decided. Regarding that, Allah, the Exalted, said: "And [He also forgave] the three who were left behind." His leaving us behind and postponing our affair which He mentioned is not what we were left behind for by staying behind from the battle; rather, it is regarding those to whom he swore and offered excuses, and he accepted from them.