Tafsir of At-Taghabun 64:14

"O you who have believed, indeed, among your wives and your children are enemies to you" — meaning, some of them are such. Likewise, among wives are those who show hostility toward their husbands, dispute with them, and bring calamity upon them; and among children are those who show hostility toward their fathers, are undutiful to them, and cause them to swallow grief and harm. We have witnessed wives who have killed their husbands, or ruined their minds by feeding them mind-altering substances, or shattered the vessel of their honor, or shredded their financial reserves, and so on. Similarly, there are children who have acted in the same manner.

"So beware of them" — meaning, be on your guard against them and do not feel secure from their calamities and their evil. The pronoun refers to "enemy" (in the singular, ‘aduww), for it is applied to a plural, as in the saying of the Almighty: “For they are enemies (aduww) to me” [26:77]. The command to beware pertains to all of them, or to the wives and children collectively; therefore, the command is to be wary of the specific individuals among them who are hostile, as there are some among them who are not enemies. Alternatively, it signifies being wary of both groups in their entirety due to their inclusion of the hostile.

"But if you pardon" — for their sins that are capable of being pardoned, such as those related to worldly affairs or religious matters, provided that it is coupled with repentance—"and overlook"—by refraining from blaming or rebuking them—"and forgive"—by concealing their sins and finding excuses for them—"then indeed, Allah is Forgiving, Merciful." This statement stands in place of the response, and the meaning is: He will treat you with the like of how you treated them, and will show you favor; for He, the Exalted and Majestic, is Forgiving, Merciful.

Since the obligation here is difficult—for harm emanating from someone to whom you have shown kindness is more painful and more provocative of retaliation—it was appropriate to use emphasis in His saying, “And if you pardon,” etc. Many have said: Their enmity lies in the fact that they stand between the believer and acts of obedience or matters beneficial to them in their Hereafter, and they may drive them to strive for illicit gain and commit sins for their own benefit. As it is narrated from the Prophet (may the blessings of Allah be upon him): "A time will come upon my Ummah when a man’s destruction will be at the hands of his wife and his children; they will reproach him for poverty, so he will embark upon evil paths and perish."

Among people, there are those whose love and compassion for them drive them to desire that their families live in comfort during their life and after their death; thus, they commit forbidden acts to acquire what would ensure this, even if the families did not ask it of them, and consequently, they perish. This interpretation is more consistent with the sabab al-nuzul (reason for revelation).

Al-Tirmidhi, al-Hakim (who authenticated it), Ibn Jarir, and others recorded from Ibn Abbas: This verse, “O you who have believed, indeed, among your wives and your children...” was revealed concerning some people of Makkah who embraced Islam and wanted to come to the Prophet (may the blessings of Allah be upon him), but their wives and children refused to let them go. When they finally came to the Messenger of Allah (may the blessings of Allah be upon him) and saw that the people had already become learned in the religion, they intended to punish them (their families), so Allah the Almighty revealed the verse.

In another narration from him, he said: A man would desire to migrate, but his wife and children would hold him back, and he would say: "By Allah, if Allah brings me and you together in the land of migration, I will do such-and-such (i.e., punish them)." When Allah, the Exalted and Majestic, brought them together in the land of migration, Allah revealed: “O you who have believed, indeed, among your wives...”

It is also said: They (the families) had said to them, "If Allah brings us together in the land of migration, we will not support you." When they migrated, they withheld support from them, so the verse was revealed. From Ata’ bin Abi Rabah, it is reported that ‘Awf bin Malik al-Ashja‘i wanted to go on a military expedition with the Prophet (may the blessings of Allah be upon him), but his family and children gathered around him, dissuaded him, and complained of his separation from them; his heart softened, and he did not go to battle. Later, he regretted this and intended to punish them. The verse was brought as evidence that a man should not hold a grudge against his wife and children if they commit a wrong against him, and that he should not invoke curses upon them.