Al-Baqarah: 262
"Those who spend their wealth..."
Al-Mann (Bestowing a favor/Reminding of a favor): It is to act arrogantly toward the one to whom you have shown kindness, implying that you have done them a favor and imposed a right upon them. They used to say: "If you do a favor, forget it." One poet said:
And if a man performs a favor for me,
And reminds me of it once, he is a base person.
In Nawabigh al-Kalim, it is said: "Two are alike: one who gives to the seeker and then reminds them, and one who withholds their gift and is stingy." It also says: "The taste of the favor is sweeter than the mann (reminding), and it is more bitter than the favor accompanied by mann."
Al-Adha (Harm): It is to act superior toward the recipient because of the favor you bestowed upon them.
The meaning of "Thumma" (Then): It indicates the disparity between the act of spending and the act of refraining from mann and adha. It signifies that refraining from them is better than the act of spending itself, just as remaining steadfast in faith is made better than merely entering it, as in His saying: "Then they remained steadfast" (Fussilat: 30).
If you ask: What is the difference between His saying "They shall have their reward" and His saying later "Then they shall have their reward"?
I say: The relative pronoun (alladhina) here does not imply the meaning of a conditional, whereas it does there. The difference between them in terms of meaning is that the fa (in "then they shall have") indicates that the reward is earned specifically through the spending, while omitting it is devoid of that indication.
263–264
**"A kind word and forgiveness are better than charity followed by harm. And Allah is Free of need, Forbearing. O you who have believed, do not invalidate your charities with reminders of favor and harm, like one who spends his wealth to be seen by the people and does not believe in Allah and the Last Day. His likeness is that of a smooth stone upon which is dust; a downpour hits it and leaves it bare. They are unable to keep anything of what they have earned. And Allah does not guide the disbelieving people."**